Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Pillow Talk

Cigarette: Hi Jana
Jana: Hi cigarette
Cigarette: I haven't seen you in a while.
Jana: I know I'm trying to quit.
Cigarette: I miss you Jana. Don't you miss me??
Jana: Yes cigarette, I miss you very, very much.
Cigarette: I miss our mornings ♥.
Jana: Me too. I don't know what to do after I sip my coffee.
Cigarette: I've been hanging out in stores and gas stations waiting for you.
Jana:I know cigarette. I've been avoiding you because you will eventually kill me.
Cigarette: Thats what they want you to think Jana.
Jana: What do you mean?
Cigarette: Think of how relaxed you feel when your lips are wrapped around me. You can always count on me and I'm reliable.
Jana: Now, now cigarette I don't appreciate your rouse.
Cigarette: My what?
Jana: Your rouse. Your cunning attempt to trick me.
Cigarette: Whatever bitch! I saw those Nicotine Lozenges weeks ago! You cheated!
Jana: Its really whats best cigarette please try to understand.
Cigarette: I'm not good enough right? I'm not worth the money right!?
Jana: Its me, not you.
Cigarette: Fuck you, I hope I blacken your lungs and stunk up your home and car with my ashtray like scents.
Jana: You did cigarette, but I forgive you.
Cigarette: I'm going to KILL YOU!
Jana: I know that's why I'm flushing you down this abyss. It won't hurt cigarette. *flush*
The End

3 comments:

mommyjenners said...

YOU ROCK JANA! YOU NEED TO PUBLISH THIS SHIT!

Anonymous said...

Mommyjenners beat me to it. You should consider a writing career. I read your entire "blog" while having a cocktail-or two. Very well done. Yours was the first "blog" I have ever read. It was certainly more interesting that I at least know you (the author) or know you now, at the job you have (now) after Initech. I'm impressed. I do not know what the EMT weather girl meant by "feeling uncomfortable" reading Pillow talk. I say, wow! Now, I know why people "blog". Because they have "something" to "blog" about. Really well done! ChaCharep

Adam Neibauer said...

This is funny. I can picture you and a little cartoon cigarette (the cousin of the "I'm Just A Bill On Capital Hill" guy) sitting on the couch having this conversation. How is the quitting going?