Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Listography: Shit I Could Do Without


The following is a list of random things that I feel my life would be better without. This was actually kind of fun to create. Hopefully you don't fall into any of these categories....read it and weep!
These are a few things I could do without.....
Parking citations and the fucks that write them. I have gotten well over $300 in parking ticketsin the past year. That is actually conservative estimate. I just got another one this morning. Maybe I should stop with the overnight parking. Nah, just no more tickets please.

Serena on Gossip Girl. Her story line has become so boring. Chuck and Blair should just get their own show (sans headbands) called Chuck Looks Really Intense and Blair Loves It.

Headaches. I've taken so much Ibuprofen in the past week. Doing your daily shit with a headache seriously sucks. My head is pounding, my phone is ringing, I've got to do laundry, I've got to give Charlie a bath, I've got to pay that parking citation.

Anonymous commenters.

Bigotry. I find these people irrational most of the time and annoying all the time.

Extreme narcissists. Their self obsession and self love make me want to vomit. But sometimes its comical and makes me laugh.

Weight gain. The cons of not being able to fit into last years skinny jeans and being forced to wear leggings with boots does not make up for the fact that my boobs have gotten bigger.

People who mumble. It is exhausting trying to watch their mouths and decipher what the hell their saying without looking crazy and saying "whhaat?" fifty times. So sometimes you just shrug, giggle and don't say anything and wind up looking like a ditz s because they really asked you a question.

Good friends moving away. I could definently do without that. I'm gonna miss my BFF :(

Cigarettes. If they did not exist there would be no option to smoke. I've got zero will power.

People who make more money than I do doing a job that is way easier than the one I have. I'm but a lowly popper.

Irresponsible people who lose things all the time. Then you have to help the scatterbrain find their cell phone or lab order. Annoying.

People who say "Smile Honey". Umm no. Why don't you fuck off?

Also I could do without people who have any tattoo of a logo, such as a Nike swoosh, Miller or PBR. Along with these people are the people who a tattoo of a bar code. Go somewhere.


Hmm, I could do without my own ramblings so we'll leave it at that. What could you do without?

Friday, September 18, 2009

In Other News... September 18th



This week was a rather boring one. Working all week long, lots of clinics in other cities requiring to spend mo' money on gas. And driving without any speakers in my car is the worst!!! I'm not really sure what the problem is with them. But I do know I don't have the money to fix it. I have been doing a good job of not spending money. I really despise the idea of a second job but its looking like the only way.... to stay afloat.


I have been looking for ways to cut back and conserve. Short of sitting in the dark not moving, I'm having some trouble. I cancelled the Internet on my phone which will save me some money. Whats the point of having a Blackberry with no Internet? I'm finding my self a bit lost with out it. Like seriously I get lost because I don't have my GPS (which I LOVE). I also really miss my Twitter and Facebook applications. If I wanted to know what my brother was up to I'd check his Facebook to see his status. Now I actually have to pick up the phone and call him. Geez. But I'm suddenly realizing be so 'connected' isn't really the truth with having all the apps at my fingertips. I'm starting to adjust and I'm starting to like it. Except when I'm lost.




In other news I have made a decision to stop using expensive fattening coffee creamer in my coffee every morning. This will help me save money AND maintain a healthier lifestyle. It was once my favorite part of my morning but now I get just as much of a thrill being rude to people because I'm crabby and my coffee tastes like shit. I'm doing this strictly on trial basis for one month to see how terrible my life gets and in hopes of reducing my calorie intake I drop a few pounds. This is the best plan for me because I am a lazy ass and want big results with little effort. I'll keep you posted on this very important change in my life.


I got paid today but somehow the money I worked hard for is already gone in cyberspace somewhere. Making payments, plugging away, hating it. As you can probably tell money has been a stressor for me for the past few weeks. Maybe I'll start clipping coupons and instead of buying the shirt from Karmaloop.com I'll head to the Goodwill and see what I can finagle. This new lifestyle is what I call Recession Chic.


I have no big plans this weekend. I'm going to do my best to sit in the dark and not move. Yet somehow I know I'll wind up sitting at a bar with a buzz laughing hysterically with Michelle and Tons of Fun while speaking in a British accent. Cheers!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

31 Views (like whoa)


I've been pretty bummed that I wasted my time posting these damn blogs and no one comments them (except you Crasskins, thanks). I realize that my latest post Lettuce With a Side of Bat Shit doesn't even have the comments enabled (I'll work on that). Sadly, I don't know how to promote this beyond putting the link as my facebook status and sometimes I have trouble signing in. I'm such a blogging idiot.

After looking closer...my favorite thing that I don't do often enough, I realize there have been 31 views of Leaping Backward With Jana Nye! 31! Thats a lot ... I think anyway. I wonder how many of those were me :)

So I wanna know how to get more views. Actually I just decided I don't care about views because I hate spys. I want comments. I don't care if they are telling me how much my blog sucks or correcting my poor grammer. Should I change the name?? Maybe I need to do something to make my page more warm and welcoming. Do you like this kittywagon I've posted. Does it make you more likely to continue reading???

Maybe I should stop the posts about abortion and just stick to what I know....Twilight. Comments? Suggestions?

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Lettuce With A Side of Bat Shit




We've all heard the story. Super skinny white girl + pretty face+ nice complexion = Model material. I've also heard the story of Crystal Renn, who as a young girl was scouted by a recruiter and told if she lost 70 pounds and 9 inches off her hips she could be a model and even appear in Vogue magazine. And over the next year she did. At left is a photo of her after her "transformation". I think she looks like shit.


She was 5'9" and 95 lbs. Yikes! That is so unhealthy when you look at it from a medical stand point. Like on the BMI scale. She lost all the weight by working out eight hours a day and eating about 600 calories a day. It was so physically taxing and unsustainable on a long term basis she eventually started to gain weight and started losing work because of it. Long story short she got smart and stopped being anorexic and decided to be a model on her own terms. She gained weight and is now the highest paid plus sized model in America. She basically spun all her negative shit into GOLD. Look at her. Doesn't she look way hotter as a healthy woman???


She recently wrote a book about her experiences entitled Hungry: A Young Models Story of Appetite, Ambition and the Ultimate Embrace of Curves. Isn't that great!?!!!!! She was featured in Glamour magazine's May issue. But sadly I noticed she ran next to ads for Alli ( a weight loss program) and wrinkle cream that features a 20 year old as the model... FOR WRINKLE CREAM. 20 year olds don't have wrinkles. Even Glamour magazine which I find progressive and empowering is guilty of sending confusing mixed ads about how we women should look and feel and ultimately what is considered beautiful. Its distorted. Articles preaching one thing...then you flip the page only to see another stick skinny twit wearing fucking Ugg boots and a winter coat standing in a sunny field in the middle of summer. Exausting. I'm going to get a latte...full fat please.