Randoms

New Pics

This is me pretending to talk to someone on my awesome rotary dial phone. I found it in my Grandma's closet a year ago and it makes an amazing retro decoration. You can't tell from the picutre but its light blue and totally adorable. It even has the original phone number typed on the center of the dial. Its a 212 area code which is old school New York so makes it extra cool.

Here I am in my living room after watching Black Swan one too many times.

www.jananeibauer.blogspot.com

Face It... I'm Facebookless

I was thinking the other day how I never post here anymore. I considered deleting this entire blog because its rather time consuming to post and really this thing is not that user friendly and generally annoying if you want to upload more than one picture. I thought that I'd delete this and just use Facebook. Well fuck that, I deleted my Facebook randomly at two am Monday night. It's funny how much more focused I've become without my phone buzzing every two seconds with a notification. I'm so relieved and happy being disconnected.

I took off the last two days for no good reason. It occurred to me a few weeks ago that I just wanted a few days to lay around and do nothing. Its been great. I cleaned every inch of my apartment, I fixed my vacuum, went through old photos (throwing away some), I reorganized my closet, figured out how to hook up and actually use my printer and made my bed everyday for the past week.

I'm generally an organized person, my dishes are done everyday, my living room is always tidy but there is something super relaxing about my spotless apartment. I realized that after three months living here I'm so happy and thankfull that I live alone again and while this place isn't huge, its perfect for me. There is an alarming number of car accidents that happen on the street I live on. And being on the second floor I can always hear it happen, and watch as the two drivers argue loudly about whose fault it is... then I watch the paramedics wheel someone away, all from my insanely comfy leather chair with a cup of coffee in hand. Who needs cable when you live on a busy street?

So my Facebookless life has also allowed me to get a lot of homework done... even though I'm on Spring Break I started writing what seems to be an A paper on Forensic Nursing. I really could write about 25 pages but I think that will jut piss of my instructor more than help my grade so I'm trying to dumb it down a little.
Also, I've been thinking about my next tattoo. What I really want... I am afraid to get because I don't know of any particular artists that can tattoo life like portrait of a person and I've seen too many of them gone wrong. So, I'm thinking of adding onto my last one.

Besides deleting my Facebook, not going to school or work there really isn't a lot going on.... hmmm, going to the Talib show tomorrow night... should be fun.

Oh, I'm posting a picture of myself in my FAVORITE jacket. I took it out for the first time last weekend and got lots of compliments. This photo is me... kind of buzzed after a few drinks downtown... I think I look kinda like a thirsty vampire. Raaawwww. That's all for now! Chow.

www.jananeibauer.blogspot.com

Random

I'm either a doormat or a bitch. Consistanty. I cannot find a happy medium.

Guest Blogger: Crasskins! Go Ahead, Make My Day

Tonight’s the night. Tonight’s the night. Tonight’s the NIGHT!!! After weeks invested, I’m pretty sure I’m getting laid tonight. She’s the kind of girl that was so hot, I’d never thought she’d like a geek like me. Still, I’d been wining and dining this girl for some time now. She wanted to take things slow as she had just gotten out of a long term relationship. That’s cool, I can understand that. I’m sensitive and compassionate like that, yo. However, I think she was impressed by my awesome cooking skills. I can make a serious fettuccini. Plus, I hadn’t even cooked my specialty yet, Soyaki Pork Chops with a yakisoba side.

“What’s up,” I asked, my voice two forced octaves lower.

“Hey! Is it cool if I still if I come over?” she asked.

“Yeah…you should totally CUM over,” I answered smoothly.

“What was that? Why do you sound so weird? Are you sick?”

“Oh, uh” I responded clearing my throat, “no…nothing….anyway you should totally swing by,”

“Cool, I just need to swing by the store to pick up some…safety items,” she giggled.

PROTECTION!?! Yes! I am TOTALLY getting laid tonight. We got off the phone and I prepared my room for its inevitable transformation into The Love Cove. Old boxers thrown in the closet? Check. Porn mags pushed far enough under the bed to not be noticed? Check. Dumbbells pseudo-haphazardly left in a prominent position in the room? Check. Okay. Ready, go!

She arrives. I let her in. Making out begins. There is groping. There is moaning. There is a Wal-Greens bag on my nightstand she has brought over. As things reach the point of no return, she reaches into the bag and pulls out a small box.

“Here put this on,” she demands.

I fumble around like Helen Keller before finally giving in and turning on a light.

Whoa! “What is this?” I question.

“What do you mean?” she inquires back.

“These are Magnums,” I exasperate.

“Oh! Is this one of your “anti-consumer” things? Do you not use them because they’re not made in America or something?”

“Uh…..no, that’s not generally why I don’t use them…”

“Well, I’m sorry,” she apologized “I’m not used to buying condoms, I don’t know much about them. I just bought the ones my EX used to always buy, so I trust the brand” she explained.

“Oh? These are the kind your ex used, huh? That’s cool…” I diverted, “uh, I’m kinda hungry…how do Pork Chops sound about now?”

Today, My Word Is Love

love:

A feeling of unconditional affection towards someone, compounded by a feeling of deep euphoria when thinking about them.

To love someone is to trust them with your heart, because you know that they won't break it. To look into their eyes and become lost in their inexplicable beauty. To want for them to be the best person they can be, and for you to be the best you can be to match them. To strive for their happiness, above all other material needs.

Love is the greatest feeling in the world. To love, and be loved, makes all else feel unimportant. All your troubles, your worries, your cares, simply melt away.

When you find that person, the one who completes you, the world suddenly makes sense. Every little injury hurts a little less. Every sunrise seems just that much more beautiful. Every moment, your loved one occupies your thoughts; you are never truly apart.

Love knows no jealousy. No anger, held longer than applicable. No quota of wrongdoing. Love abolishes all these.

Love is not lust. They should never be held together. Lust is the desire to be linked to one's body; love is the desire to be linked to one's soul.

Sometimes, love can hurt. Sometimes, it can damage, and break, until you say I shall not love again. But love can also mend, and soothe. It can repair what once was broken, and it can bandage and prop up what has been hurt.

In the end, love cannot be described. It cannot be held up, and examined, and quantified, and studied. Love has no peer. No equal. No synonym, no foil. Love is simply... love.

Happy Valentines Day.

JanuBerry With Jana Banana...What I Learned

January is coming to a close and I realize I've posted a ridiculous amount of blogs this month. I don't think I can go on like this forever. You'll wind up reading about something totally boring like my favorite candy, um wait a second....

I learned that blogging is all about content and to write about what you know about. Sadly for Jana Nye that consists of smoking cessation, drinking too much and other random nonsense. I stopped worrying about traffic and comments and found out I have a lot more readers than I thought. So if you are here, reading this please drop me a comment and let me know if there are any posts you liked in particular or any you didn't. Is anyone reading this??? Hello?? Fuck my life.